Hasslein Blog: Disney and Lucasfilm Present... Aladdin II: Space Ali


Hasslein Blog

Friday, September 26, 2014

Disney and Lucasfilm Present... Aladdin II: Space Ali

Star Wars: Rebels officially starts in one week, but you can watch the first episode online now. If the previews look somewhat familiar to you, there may be a reason why...

"Space Ali"
Based on lyrics by Howard Ashman

(Play this video for background musical accompaniment!)

Make way for Prinze, Freddie
Say "Hey! It's Prinze, Freddie!"

Hey, clear the way
In the network slot
A new Star Wars show
That is what we've got
Oh, come be the first on your block
To buy a toy
He's cool!
He's a thief!
He gives Rebels grief!
I already hate this boy

Space Ali
Rebel is he
How does that grab ya'
Done before
Intended for younger than me
They canceled Clone Wars for this
Don't care enough to be pissed
But still I'm not blown away
By what I see

Space Ali
Owned by Disney
Looks kind of drab, yeah,
Eyes of blue
Aladdin II
Disappoints me
They sent Ahsoka away
No word if she is OK
Who's in her place now today?
Why, Space Ali

He's a 14-year-old quintessential
(Ain't he a cutie, girls?)
Midi-chlorians, he's got fifty-three
(Fabulous, darling, they'll love the eyebrows.)
When it comes to new figure potential
This kid's gonna sell
Extremely well
Though he's dressed like Mace Towani

Space Ali
Don't impress me
Just a cash grab, yeah
Freddie Prinze
Not many wins
But get on out in those stores
Make rich the merchandise whores
Forget about the Clone Wars
It's Space Ali

He can outrun a Rebel or Jedi
(He rides a speeder! It's a one-seater!)
Such a pilot—he's just like Ani
(Force-sensitive! So sensitive!)
Fighting Stormtroopers, he is a deadeye
(Girls will swoon for him!)
Well, I'm kind of bored
I think I've snored
Every time it's been on TV
Don't mind me…
Gotta peeeeeeeee….

Spaaaaace... Aaaaaliiiiii....
Made for kiddies
Fluffied-up flab, yeah
But at least
They're bringing back
Ol' Billy Dee
And that's the sole reason why
I'm gonna give it a try

Hey, look, a character's
From Mandalore
A pink Boba Fett
Will sell toys for sure
A Twi'lek hottie
They'll showcase her body
Inquisitor looks so Sith-y
Make way…
For Space Aliiiiiii!

                                                                --Rich Handley

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